Relationship Problems? Do I need a mediator or a counselor?

Keeping a relationship is difficult. Most specially, romantic relationships, which have stages of maturity that involves re-adapting

and recreating the relationship by 2 different entities. To make matters worse, our choices of relationships are affected by the relationship we had with our Mothers (Attachment), the marital relationship of our parents, and our ability to communicate.

That is the reason why couples should seek counseling from day one. Counseling could avoid the side effects of the baggage we carry thru life.

One of the forms of counseling is called mediation. The mediator is a train professional, who acts proactively by discovering issues that the couple will experience years down the line. The mediator offers short term intervention that the couple can use. Also, the mediator will clarify each person’s desires and will point-out their future effect in the relationship.

Most important, mediators are neutral; they cannot take sides. The mediator controls the process but cannot influence outcomes. The mediator presents the facts; is NOT the mediator but the facts what affect the future of the relationship.

Mediation occurs between two parties. Sometimes, initially, the two parties are willing to negotiate and do so through a mediator, however, they are not ready to sit in the same room. This involves a process known as “shuttle diplomacy” or “shuttle mediation” where the mediator goes between the parties until they are able or willing to talk directly with the mediator together. This is obviously different from counseling where one person in a relationship can seek counseling without the other ever intending to appear. Mediation only occurs when there are two people with two points of view present.

Sometimes the counselor starts the process via mediation techniques, which will allow for the assessment or the relationship, the assessment of each member, and the determination of desired outcomes.

Several studies researching the effect of couple therapy in the relationship concluded that counseling increases the well-being of the relationship; counseling was shown to increase relationship satisfaction, it was linked to the increase in communication skills of the

member in the relationship, and it contributes to the decrease in interpersonal conflict by providing awareness about the issues each partner brings to the relationship.

If you are ready to improve your relationship, contact me for immediate treatment. I offer mediation and counseling for people in all type of relationships.